Fun(ny) things kids want to grow up to be

One of the books I am currently writing is a personalized ABC book aimed at young children about professions that kids want to be when they grow up (If you'd like, you can check out our other personalized books here). I thought it would be fun to write it from the perspective of the child and not from the adult. 

So, instead of thinking of professions like “Lawyer” and “Doctor”, or even “Firefighter” and “Police person”, and to make them fun and whimsical, I tried to think of professions that would excite kids and stretch their imagination (think “Ninja” and “Ice cream Inspector”). 

Of course, I first did research on some of the weird and whimsical professions that kids do think of when asked about what they wish to be. 

Not surprisingly, the majority of kids do want to become what most adults think they would: doctors, vets, firefighters, police officers, engineers, teachers, athletes, and astronauts. It’s completely understandable because most young kids naturally gravitate toward  respected authority figures in society and ones that they have exposure to – either in real life or through books and TV.

Also, interesting (but not totally surprising) is the gender skew in dream jobs: way more girls want to be doctors, vets or teachers. Boys? They want to be firefighters, police officers, engineers, or astronauts. Only two of the top 10 professions have a relatively equal gender ratio: scientist(!) and musician. 

Thankfully though, there are a lot of kids who are quite happy to break the mold and push their imaginations and come up with ideal careers that are quite simply wonderful. Below are some of the (very real) responses that kids have given when asked that oh-so-important question. 

(Note: the answers below have been collected from a wide variety of sources, and I have linked to the original source article wherever possible).

Image Source: Reddit user astrocat16 via Imgur

Black Spiderman: Hey, if they have a Black Panther, why not a Black Spiderman? Of course, in this case, the real superpower wouldn’t be climbing up walls…(he’s probably referring to Venom, but it’s just so much fun to take it at face value!). 

Crazy cat lady: Sadly, I think this girl got her wish. And she lives down the street from me.

Dragon Breeder: I laugh, but getting dragons to breed is no joke and takes real skill. 

Ice Cream Man at Costco: What’s so great about this is that an ice cream man at Costco probably exists. And he’s living the dream! As with all grown-up stuff, it’s probably not quite as fun as it seems (he probably has to fill in spreadsheets of orders and hordes of other boring stuff). However, Ben & Jerry’s have real-life flavor gurus whose job is to develop the next generation of ice cream flavors. I could settle for that.

Fence Doctor: Who else would you call when your fence is feeling weak?

Lego Star: Is it the star of the next Lego movie? Or someone famous for building Legos? Who knows? Who cares! Fun fact: turns out, Lego Professor is a real profession! 

Librina: What’s a librina? A librarian ballerina obviously. Duh. 

Mob Wife: Somehow, I suspect this kid watched way more Soprano’s than she should have. But hey, mob bosses have to have wives too. 

Princess of the world: Because just being a “normal” princess of a country is just too boring. 

Rainbow Girl: If you can’t become a unicorn kitty doctor, it’s probably the next best thing.

Ruler of the world: Ruler of the World is a pretty popular one in general. What’s great is that this kid has his priorities straight!

Smarty Pants: I am pretty sure that’s my job, dude!

Sprinkled Red-Frosted Donut: Because no other donut would just be good enough.

The Guy Who Presses The A Guy Who Presses The Button For The Carnival Ride: I’m not sure this one is fully thought out - I’d rather be the person on the ride!

Unicorn Kitty Doctor: This kid didn't want to be just any doctor, but a unicorn kitty doctor. What’s a unicorn kitty? Ah, that’s the question!

Last Thoughts

Some other kids had hilarious responses that weren’t exactly professions but were still relevant to what they were going to do when they grew up.

Not all dreams were unrealistic to begin with. I am pretty sure the kid below did achieve his dreams:

Others were pretty clear-eyed about their ambition, like Albert below:

Lots of kids just wanted to change into inanimate objects like mailboxes, potatoes, dogs, wolves fire hydrants, and all sorts of other stuff - like that would ever happen!

And of course, there was this kid who had figured out the true meaning of happiness way early on in life! I must admit there are days when I definitely wished that’s what I had grown up to be!